I Was Born In The Wrong Era

Joelle Pittman, ©Memphis Bombshells, Photographer: Amanda Hill
Joelle Pittman,
©Memphis Bombshells, Photographer: Amanda Hill

 

Joelle Pittman, ©Memphis Bombshells, Photographer: Amanda Hill
Joelle Pittman,
©Memphis Bombshells, Photographer: Amanda Hill
Joelle Pittman, ©Memphis Bombshells, Photographer: Amanda Hill
Joelle Pittman,
©Memphis Bombshells, Photographer: Amanda Hill
Joelle Pittman, ©Memphis Bombshells, Photographer: Amanda Hill
Joelle Pittman,
©Memphis Bombshells, Photographer: Amanda Hill
Joelle Pittman, ©Memphis Pinups
Joelle Pittman,
©Memphis Pinups
Joelle Pittman, ©Memphis Bombshells, Photographer: Amanda Hill
Joelle Pittman,
©Memphis Bombshells, Photographer: Amanda Hill
Joelle Pittman, ©Memphis Bombshells, Photographer: Amanda Hill
Joelle Pittman,
©Memphis Bombshells, Photographer: Amanda Hill

 

“When I get dressed, I think of it as dress-up time, like the clothes are costume pieces. That’s why I like vintage -it has a story behind it. I’m not afraid of walking down the street in something that people think is crazy. What I can’t stand is looking like everybody else.” – Mary-Kate Olsen

“I once second guessed my instincts and had a stylist come over to my house and help me go through my vintage collection with me, and I remember she picked up a beautiful pair of 1930’s shoes and said “these would look SO cute with jeans” and that was the moment I realised that she knew nothing about me (I don’t even own jeans) and that I was best off staying true to my own personal style rather than let someone else tell me what is right and what is wrong, and putting her own tastes on me.” – Dita Von Teese

 

Death of My (One Pair of) Sweatpants

If you were to bump into me on a random day, chances are I’d be wearing 4 inch stiletto heels, hot pink lipstick…and have really big hair.  Therefore, it is no surprise that I only own one pair of sweat pants.

…But these aren’t just any sweatpants.

They are black Victoria’s Secret sweatpants with “PINK” sprawled across my derierre and a dog on my left hip. Classy, I know.

But I digress. If you see me in sweatpants, there is something going on with me emotionally. And since I only have one pair, this one set of pants has seen me through a lot of difficult times. They were the ones I put on to visit my dad in the hospital. They were on the last time I saw my dad conscious, they were on the last time I saw my dad unconscious, and there they were when I found out he died. Therefore, it makes complete sense that I also wore them that entire summer after his death when I could barely get out of bed.

The only picture of me in this magical pair of sweatpants
The only picture of me in this magical pair of sweatpants

I associate so many memories with these sweatpants. And for me, they remind me of my dad. Whenever I’m sad, I put them on. But given the many, many washes endured over these past two years, they have finally succumbed to holes, ripping and fading…and yet, I can’t bring myself to throw them away.

This bothered me for weeks! The face that I couldn’t throw away a pair of ratty old sweatpants was absolutely ridiculous! …Until it hit me this morning as I slipped into them for the thousandth time…they are my mourning pants.

I won’t pretend to know what the healthiest way to grieve is, but I do know that you should do whatever it is that seems to help. And I think saying goodbye to this silly pair of sweatpants has me saying goodbye to my dad all over again.

And frankly, I don’t want to say goodbye to anything else that ties to him.

Quote of the Day

“I don’t want to love him—this would be so much simpler if I didn’t. But I do.

He’s funny, and passionate, and strong, and he believes in me more than I even believe in myself. When he looks at me, I feel like I could take on the whole world and come out standing tall. I like myself better when I’m with him, because of how he sees me. He makes me feel beautiful and powerful, like I’m the most important thing in the world, and I don’t know how to walk away from that. I don’t know how to walk away from him.”

Rachel Vincent, Alpha

Best Search Terms of 2013

I’m sorry, y’all. I have been fairly MIA the second half of this year…life seemed to just get in the way. New Year though and my New Years resolution is to get back to blogging!

So for a laugh, I decided to compile the funniest search terms that landed people on my blog. (I am so glad that WordPress has this feature!) I just hope that these terms/words/phrases don’t actually describe me…

  • southern freak
  • people who couldn’t care less
  • i’m 28 and childless how do i open up for love
  • i love my new bangs
  • amanda de cadenet nude
  • candid camera massage
  • joelle pittman’s favorite bars
  • call girls in heraklion
  • getting used to glasses
  • joelle pittman wedding dresses
  • patti stanger eyeglasses
  • i’m 27 and single
  • beer bloating
  • did carrie bradshaw have bachelorette party
  • my father keeps pointing out i am childless
  • can’t believe i’m 28 childless and single
  • childless single people
  • my dad is a dog
  • joelle pittman live mouse trap
  • tie die dune buggy gokart for my birthday
  • childless freak
  • horse show dad quotes
  • turkey sex blog
  • secret hookah lounge
  • i’m 28 and single

 

Library of Celsus in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman

Ephesus, Turkey

Silk in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Silk in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Hand woven rugs in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Theater in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Theater in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Theater in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Theater in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Theater in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Theater in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Theater in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Library of Celsus in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Library of Celsus in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Library of Celsus in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Library of Celsus in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Library of Celsus in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Library of Celsus in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Library of Celsus in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Library of Celsus in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Mosaic floor in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Mosaic floor in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Library of Celsus in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
Prayer Wall at the House of Mary in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman
House of Mary in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman

Baptismal Pool at the House of Mary in Ephesus, Turkey ©Joelle Pittman

Always The Bridesmaid…and Godmother…and Party Planner, Never The Bride Or Anything Else Particularly Cool

Firstly, please forgive me for the cliche title and secondly, before you judge me as a jealous, wicked stepsister type, hear me out.

I am so very happy for my friends. They have found wonderful men to share their lives with and I am honored to stand by them while they start their new journeys. I am also thrilled that some of them are popping out babies…on purpose. (Confession: I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to that. It still makes me shudder, cute as they are. )

My main concern is that I’m being left behind and all the things I’m doing for them won’t be returned when it is my turn. Isn’t that awful? Did I just admit that? But I can’t help it. I have thrown shower after shower and bachelorette party after bachelorette party and now that I’m literally the last single girl standing what is going to happen when it is my turn? Is it just my fault that I’ve waited this long? Tough luck for me?

When people get married they stop hanging out with their friends (as much). They have a partner in life and the tribe they created in their twenties is now second fiddle. And that is what they should do. But what happens to me? Am I just the lone wolf because I didn’t find Prince Charming and get sperminated before thirty hit? Am I doomed to sit at home alone? Or worse, be that weird old chick that hangs out with the younger kids and makes out with guys fresh out of college?

It was fun when we were in our twenties to go to Vegas and celebrate so-and-so’s last hurrah but I don’t see that happening now that thirties, a husband and children are in the picture. And perhaps that wouldn’t still be an appropriate sendoff given our now advanced age. (Excuse me while I roll my eyes.) I know my friends have every intention to be there for me them…but life gets in the way. I can see it now, “I wanted to come but little Becky has a fever, sorry!”

And I’ve already experienced a few friends tell me they don’t want to meet my would-be-suitors (read: their husbands don’t) and “can we please just not meet the next one until you hit the six month mark and know he’s sticking around?” Excuse me but am I supposed to just go in hiding until then? Because they don’t seem to go anywhere without their husbands these days…and I’m tired of being the third wheel.

And can we please stop with the pity looks? Or telling me that maybe my expectations are too high. So it was not OK for you to settle but I should? 

I don’t know why I always go back to Sex and the Cityprobably because I feel more and more like Carrie Bradshaw these days (with a dash of Ted Mosby thrown in), but I remember watching HBO in awe as these awesome spinsters (yes, I said spinsters) with great jobs were roaming around Manhattan looking for love. “That will never be me. I’ll find love young…when you’re supposed to.” Now I just want to shake my old self and say, “Prep yourself honey because it isn’t even going to happen in your twenties.” Little me would have a heart attack.

And Carrie was right, boy was was she ever right:

“Think about it. If you are single, after graduation there isn’t one occasion where people celebrate you … Hallmark doesn’t make a “congratulations, you didn’t marry the wrong guy” card. And where’s the flatware for going on vacation alone?”

I feel invisible some days. And why? Because I haven’t found a man? Well, I guess so. I’m not invited to couples weekends or dinner parties or playdates for the kids. And I’m not bitter. I haven’t given up hope… but it seems the world is doubting my worth because I don’t have another half to complete me.

And I wonder if it is because I live in the south. Some days I think I should move back to LA or some other city where I’m not a freak. My mom this morning even asked if I needed to move to a city where there aren’t 30,000 more single women than men. Yes, you read that right. Memphis has 30,000 more single women than men. And I’ve hit that age where baggage will be there, you just have to pick the person whose baggage you can deal with. When did that happen? How did I get to that age where everyone has some deal breaker “thing” about them?

So do I find new friends? I don’t want to find new friends. These are my people. They were there for me when my father died. They held my hand when my serious relationship that I was convinced would end in marriage instead just ended.  And…they’re awesome. I love them. Why should a little wedding band get in the way?

A lifestyle and travel blog

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,346 other followers