..am I in a movie?! By far the sweetest and most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. Undoubtedly worth the wait and anticipation from the missed flower delivery the day before (and, yes, I know it is C.S. Lewis quote)!
Mark it off the bucket list…I jumped off a cliff! Well, more like a rock…it just seemed like a cliff! I’m terrified of heights, y’all (and technically it is the height of a one-story house so that is somewhat impressive, right?)! But since Erin is one of those friends I can never say no to, the only response I could muster was a quiet “OK” when she asked me to jump off the Oconee Jumping Rock this weekend…at least she held my hand!
Here’s a video I made! Best friends since 7th grade!
It must have been fate that led me to my prized judge’s appointment. Because there I was, sitting in the green room of Local Memphis Live, just like any other Friday morning, when I met Kenny Gonzales, the CEO. Long story short, I got the gig on the spot and actively tried to contain my giddiness and maintain a professional attitude (totally failed by the way, but fortunately he didn’t back out).
Upon arrival, I was whisked away (via golf cart…score) to the free Charging Station, which had Grizzlies presence (grit ‘n grind, y’all!). They were spinning the wheel for Grizz gear and what I’m about to say will shock some people (well, not those who know me well)…but I got my first pair of Grizz anything *insert embarrassed emoji*. BUT I did sign up for their newsletter and for more info about tickets. See! I’m trying! I could totally end up liking sports…
And just so you know, the rumors are true…the judges’ tent is a magical place…this group is exclusive…plus the word “honor” was emphasized a lot. And it undoubtedly is an honor. Now, I’ve judged a lot of food competitions…but between you and me, I got a little nervous. And with good reason. This isn’t just any run-of-the-mill festival or food competition…this thing is legit.
For starters, the food is mind-blowing. The presentation is perfection…and you actually get to go to the tents and meet the teams. I love this. For every other food judging I’ve done, it has been blind samples brought to the tent. There are just numbers, no names. But at the Memphis Italian Festival, I got to hear these guys’ stories…shake the hands of their family members…see where the preparation all went down. This is the stuff that foodie dreams are made of. This festival environment has history, culture, and most importantly, love.
So hurry up and go tomorrow. It’s the last day!
If a semi-attractive girl with a fun job, sparkling personality, and killer (or so I’m told) smile, asked you to be her date for a 5-course wine pairing dinner at a “fancy” restaurant, what would you say?
The answer wasn’t what I hoped…to say the least.
I was rejected by six guys for this thing. There I was, all excited to date like a man, be assertive, embrace my womanhood, thinking “what’s the worst that could happen?” Ha. Well, they could all say no. Didn’t think that one through, did ya, Joelle?
The first one (and preferred – I even had butterflies, y’all) originally said yes, and then backed out due to “work.” When I said OK, how about a rain check…he never responded. Ouch. Guess who got defriended on Facebook? Immature on my part? Perhaps – but warranted. AND I have to see him this weekend…eek!
The second, and to be fair, I’d only met him once (he wandered into my office one random day looking like a total hottie), has a girlfriend…yikes. Embarrassing. Although I must mention he was very lovely about the whole thing.
After two ouchies, I turned to good ole match.com. I’d been chatting with a very attractive doctor and invited him over text. He said yes…but four days later. By then, I was already over it. I don’t play the three day rule, let alone four.
Speaking of four, I had a lovely first date that I thought went well and was excited about the possibility. He was cute, funny, attractive…but then I never heard from him again. So while I didn’t technically ask him to the dinner, he definitely counts because he was supposed to text me about meeting up Saturday at the Food Truck Festival…and just never did. Although, he did accept my Facebook request two weeks later. Awkward.
By this time, my ego was bruised, my self-confidence shattered, so I turned to my best guy friend in the whole wide world. We dated years ago, and from time-to-time have discussed getting back together…I brought that up, and how I’d be open to a reconciliation…and lo and behold, he said no. Can’t catch a break, y’all!
And the sixth? Well, I just have to throw the sixth in, because I got dumped at the beginning of this month and it just counts. It does. Don’t argue with me. He went to this monthly dinner with me in March, so I get to be bitter about his absence in April.
People told me that when I turned thirty that my dating world would change. But I didn’t think that it would literally change the minute I turned thirty. I was quite the player in my twenties. But since I’ve turned thirty (a MONTH ago, I might add), I’ve been dumped….and then rejected FIVE more times in THIRTY DAYS! I.E. Thirty ain’t looking pretty, y’all.
P.S. I just tagged this post with “spinster.”
Dear [insert probably every person I’m close to],
I’m sorry for not understanding why you couldn’t have dinner or drinks while you were on your diet. I also sincerely apologize for nagging/blowing up your phone/showing up at your doorstep with wine until you gave in.
Please understand that I love sitting down over dinner with a loved one and just talking and talking…and drinking and talking. This is my favorite thing to do ever. I consider it our bonding time, the equivalent of family dinner, and a personal affront when you say no.
Plus I’ve never been on a real diet before (well, one that has lasted more than a week…or hour), and now that the goals are set and I have my game face on, I realize what a jerk I was. In my defense though, I loved y’all just the way you were and thought it was silly that you wanted to lose weight (I don’t necessarily choose my friends based on their looks, it just so happens they are all hotties). So maybe it is just the wisdom that comes with 30 (that sounds better than me simply being uninterested until I faced the same situation), but now I know how unappealing and nerve racking facing a restaurant menu/bar can be when you’re trying to be good.
In conclusion, I still want to see you. If you’re up for a walk on the greenline, I’m your girl! If you want to eat a Lean Cuisine or protein shake, come on by for dinner! Just please don’t make me go out…we all know I have the will power of a 5 year old. And I’ve got to fit in my wardrobe once again…the black sweatpants are getting old.